For a number of reasons, linked to the same underlying issue – that of historic abuse it has to be said, I have been asked to think about what forgiveness means to me.
It has been suggested that part of recovering from the harm that was caused to me as a child, and has blighted my adult life, would be to forgive the person who abused me.
The whole concept of forgiveness seems to be rather stretched our of shape in this context, it isnt for example suggested that forgiving actually has anything much to do with saying what was done was OK or that the abuser doesn’t bare the responsibility. It seems more about accepting that focusing on the abuser rather than on your own needs is counter productive.
I would suggest that in fact forgiveness isnt the right concept here, it is more that we are letting go of some of the mind set that is keeping us bound to the abuser, and maintaining our victim status. We are not saying its OK or it doesn’t matter or even that we understand. No we are saying that we are relinquishing responsibility for the fate of the abuser and no longer keeping our selves tied to her.
We are handing over the responsibility for forgiveness to the Goddess, to Fate or to Karma and focusing on our own needs and recovery.